We search all our life for happiness, only to find it at the end of our life do, with nothing to do with it and nowhere to go.
‘All men’s miseries derive from not being able to sit in a quiet room alone.’
This one quote has made the biggest philosophical impression on me all my childhood. I remember once when I was around 12 yrs of age and was talking to someone who was some sort of Guru visiting my parents home and introduced me to the above-mentioned quote when I asked him about happiness.
It was very intriguing for me as a child to learn something about being alone and I took it as being anti-social. But when I inquired about the anti-social element of the quote from him, I didn’t know he would explain it so well to me with a different perspective altogether.
The response given to me by that Guru was this, “it’s not about being antisocial, rather it’s about learning to be content with your own company, because unless you are happy with yourself, how can you expect others to enjoy being in your company, if not that, how would you ever have good and meaningful relationships?”
This one simple thought stayed with me my whole teenage and adult life. Even now whenever I see anyone not being happy in a relationship, job, or any situation that is causing them the pain in some way or the other, I can see that the source of their misery is simply not being able to be alone with themselves.
Being left alone is our biggest phobia as human beings and this is one fear has made us do random unwanted things, just so that we can be assured of the company of people we choose to.
Think about it, if you give up the fear of being left alone, you wouldn’t want to do almost 80% of the stuff in your life that you do and life would be so much simpler. You would then be able to focus all your time and energy on things that actually matters to you. You would be the only judge of your life and you can live as you wish without being bothered about anybody else’s opinion.
If you are alone with nobody to judge you, would you really work so hard to earn money so that you can buy a bigger house? or that faster car? or a nicer dress?
Think about it, is it really worth all the effort?
You trade something which is simply material, with feeling miserable about your life and fill it with stress and misery.
This ends up affecting our each and every relationship. You have to realise that you are not happy and not fulfilled just so that you will be able to afford that car in the probable distant future.
It’s not worth it. Trust me. I am somebody who has given up on a good amount if inheritance from my family just because I can live a simpler life where I decide how much to earn and how much to spend.
Do you really think that you work hard all day long and acquire all that material stuff, for your own luxury?
NO. It’s the insecurity of being left alone is what makes us do things we detest.
It’s the desire to belong to the “club” created by friends and acquaintances.
The only solution to this problem is to love yourself more than the image of yours that you have created for the world to witness.
“Carpe Diam” is what Robin William taught us in “Dead Poet Society”. He taught us to seize the day, and what did we do with that?
We reversed it. We were supposed to ‘suck the marrow out of life’ but we rather allowed ‘life to suck the marrow out of us’.
and we do all this for what? Just so that we can have some company of friends and family whom we hate and detest anyways?
Ironic isn’t it?
Whenever we are with our friends, all we discuss is how stupid and miserable others are, how we are living a more meaningful life than others.
How others are so materialistic while we aren’t, or how we understand life better than them and are cooler, smarter, and wiser than the rest. We have a holier than thou approach towards everyone.
Awesome isn’t it?
What do you think others are discussing when we are not around? Exactly what we do.
This is so stupid that I roll my eye every time someone starts a gossip.
We all work hard night and day to impress people we don’t even respect.
All the time that we spend together is spent trying to prove how better humans we are than everyone else.
My question is “Why to even be concerned about what everyone wants out of life?” isn’t it enough that we love what we do?
I would any day love to be alone than in such company of such hostility.
I hope you are not in such company and love each and every friend of yours, but still if you think about it, being content with your own self can get you no harm, and only make you more feel more fulfilled, happy, and eventually make you a peaceful person.
I would suggest you to rather live a life that is true to you, rather than a life which is built upon insecurities of being left alone.
Once you achieve this you will never feel alone
Having relationships will be a choice which will help you have friends and relationships that will matter.
Let’s start with this change and start loving ourselves before everyone else and create a life that we all can love and embrace.
Let’s make our life meaningful and exhilarating!